This month I have experienced first-hand a strong attack of the negativity bias. We know from research that we often focus more on negative events rather than on positive ones. This is thought to be a biological throw-back to the days when things that caused a negative reaction were likely to do us harm. For example, a rustle in the bushes might startle us and make us more alert to the sound, just in case a predator or enemy were to jump out. Should a large bear emerge, we would use all our attention to focus on the bear and would quite understandably lose sight of any lovely scenery or the beautiful weather!
In life and at work that means we often devote all our attention to challenges and issues, those that could cause us problems. This can be draining and demotivating. I have found myself ruminating on things I cannot change, being very poor company and missing things that I would normally remember. This has only made matters worse, causing me to question my own abilities and being overly self-critical. This is any easy trap to fall into, devoting all my mental energy to the bear. Yet the only person controlling my thoughts is me. While this is easy to say and understand intellectually, it can be hard to do the mental work to rebalance the negativity bias. Three things have helped me this month: Firstly, to consciously look for and identify the positives. We all have things to be grateful for and this is the time we need to pay attention and appreciate these things. Secondly, I have reminded myself about the need to accept certain things about myself, about others and about life. I am not perfect, others are not perfect, and stuff happens that is outside my control. These are the things I need to accept in life. Lastly, to step sideways off the treadmill by making the effort to engage in other things. This must fully consume my attention to break the cycle of endless rumination that can drag you down. The combination of positives, acceptance and stepping-sideways reminds me that this too will PASS.
What positive things can you identify that you need to notice more?
What do you need to accept?
When do you need to step sideways off the treadmill, what can engage you fully?
In life and at work that means we often devote all our attention to challenges and issues, those that could cause us problems. This can be draining and demotivating. I have found myself ruminating on things I cannot change, being very poor company and missing things that I would normally remember. This has only made matters worse, causing me to question my own abilities and being overly self-critical. This is any easy trap to fall into, devoting all my mental energy to the bear. Yet the only person controlling my thoughts is me. While this is easy to say and understand intellectually, it can be hard to do the mental work to rebalance the negativity bias. Three things have helped me this month: Firstly, to consciously look for and identify the positives. We all have things to be grateful for and this is the time we need to pay attention and appreciate these things. Secondly, I have reminded myself about the need to accept certain things about myself, about others and about life. I am not perfect, others are not perfect, and stuff happens that is outside my control. These are the things I need to accept in life. Lastly, to step sideways off the treadmill by making the effort to engage in other things. This must fully consume my attention to break the cycle of endless rumination that can drag you down. The combination of positives, acceptance and stepping-sideways reminds me that this too will PASS.
What positive things can you identify that you need to notice more?
What do you need to accept?
When do you need to step sideways off the treadmill, what can engage you fully?
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