The first step is to Accept the situation as it currently is. Rumination and endless ‘what ifs’ are a futile waste of energy and can keep the focus on the past, when the focus needs to move forward to take positive action. One way to support this acceptance is to examine the Beliefs that are driving the decision making: The beliefs that led to the poor decision, but also the beliefs that now need to be brought to the fore. In tough times many leaders can demonstrate extraordinary resilience if they are fighting for a cause they believe in. When your values are alive and driving your decisions, most leaders can take all manner of personal attack. One Director I coached was asked to outsource his whole department but was energized by his desire and commitment to do the best he could to help all his staff find other roles. He had a very difficult job to do, but included himself in the redundancies so he could be true to his values. Lastly, many situations that cause us anxiety may be outside of our Control, yet they play on our minds like a needle stuck on a record. Ask yourself ‘What can I control here?’ With this question you regain a sense of agency over events and can decide what action you can take. The aspects that are outside of your control are not worth the mental energy. Try to put your resources into aspects you can control. If the problem was of your making, what can you now control to make it better?
What do you need to Accept in that difficult situation?
Which of your Beliefs is it important for you to remember and act in line with?
What can you Control to rectify the situation or to help you deal with your personal reactions?