This month I collected a new contact lens but it was causing me some issues so I took it back and explained it was not comfortable. The lady proceeded to tell me all the things I needed to allow for, and try. Having worn contacts for over 30 years I was aware and had already tried everything she mentioned and found myself getting more and more irritated. The subtext was that she felt herself to be the expert while I was the novice.
 
This is a classic example of how our own knowledge and experience can cause us to go into ‘tell’ mode before we find out what the other person already knows. This leads to irritation, a fall in engagement and a lack of listening. Had she started with ‘What have you already tried?’ it might have been a shorter and more fruitful conversation.
 
Most people come to a conversation believing they have some expertise and wanting both choice and autonomy over the conversation. Even if we believe we have knowledge to share it can be more helpful to start from a position of respect and partnership. This is especially the case with younger or inexperienced staff. Even when you are asked for advice, try to use the following sequence:
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WHAT do you know already about XXXXXX?
WOULD you like me to tell you what I know?
WHY this activity is important. (implications, consequences, potential issues that can arise)
WHAT questions do you have?
 
When do you tend to go into ‘tell’ mode?
When can you try this approach?
What might get in the way?
 
 
 

As we start 2019 many will resolve to change in some way or do something differently. But change needs more than just a resolution.
We recently had a smart-meter fitted to track our electricity usage which the radio advert reliably informs me will ‘reduce energy use’. But it won’t do that on its own! I need to do a number of things. Firstly, I need to Notice it is there and what it is telling me. If I ignore the feedback it gives me, I am no further forward. Once I notice when it changes and the readings it gives, I need to Evaluate them. It moves from green to amber when the kettle is on, but I think I will still have that cup of tea! Lastly, I need to Do something with the information it gives me. Since it moves into red when the tumble dryer is on, I might opt to hang my washing out on a sunny day.

Any change we try to make needs the same three step process. Firstly, you need to notice what is currently happening, get feedback, track your own reactions, behaviours and emotions. Secondly, evaluate the information. If people say you can be assertive is that something you want to change, or actually justified and necessary. There may be times you want to demonstrate emotion, and other times it is not appropriate. The awareness gives you options to make decisions. The decision is then what you want to do about it. If you want to effect change, you need to do something different. Just as my smart meter will not reduce my energy use, a resolution will change nothing. Notice, Evaluate and Do something about it.
 
What do you need to take Notice of in order to change?
What does your Evaluation tell you about what is needed?
What do you need to DO as a result of your evaluation to effect a change?

 

​This week I attended our local church for what was billed as a ‘non-religious gathering’ of the community to celebrate Christmas with mulled wine and mince pies. The venue was chosen for its ability to house the large numbers and to help raise money to maintain the fabric of the historic Norman building. Yet despite the non-religious focus and no religious person hosting, we proceeded to sing carols that invariably included references to God and religion. It struck me how incongruent this was, but our traditions and habits make such inconsistency invisible and accepted.
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This inconsistency is seen in leadership and the business context too. I might be coaching a manager who want the team to grow and take more responsibility but continues to exert control and makes unilateral decisions as they have always done. Many will say they have no time but still fail to hold boundaries and say no to tasks. I have seen leaders who promote honesty and integrity as corporate values, yet will withhold sensitive information from staff or customers when they feel this might have negative consequences. I see organisations who explain that ‘we are all in it together’ but this does not seem to extend to the bonus pot!
Most of us are unaware of our own inconsistencies and need another person to help highlight these blind spots. A useful coaching type challenge is simply to highlight these inconsistencies from a curious mindset. By pointing out the potential tensions, it raises the issue into conscious thought for analysis and evaluation. The person may still decide to do what they have always done but can at least assess how those inconsistencies might be seen by others and what impact they may be having.
 
What inconsistent messages might you be sending?
Who can help you become more aware of your potential inconsistencies?
How can you help others to learn from their inconsistent choices, actions and behaviours?

Yesterday I was waiting for a train that had broken down, the subsequent train then came up on the board as ‘delayed due to overcrowding’! The announcement warned us as this train approached that it was ‘full and standing’ clearly because it was carrying the passengers from two full peak-time trains on a major route into London.
Those who could, boarded this train, and as promised it was full, even standing room was packed. The train guard then came on the tannoy and apologised for the delay and the overcrowding, explaining how the situation had arisen. But this message was delivered with compassion and good humour. He then walked the train to apologise and finally announced our arrival as ‘I am sure we are all happy to finally arrive at our destination after a very trying morning’. Despite the challenges he was clearly facing he had managed to maintain his positive attitude and despite my own fraught journey, I had to smile. He had managed to amend my own mood with his jovial approach.

We all face difficult days at work and this situation highlighted two important lessons. Firstly, hiding from problems will never help resolve them. His courage and ability to face potentially aggrieved customers earned him considerable praise and compliments as he walked the train. Secondly, his positive, empathic and considerate approach was evident in his choice of words and message. He demonstrated compassion for others, rather than a self-centred concern for his own difficulties. When under pressure it is easy to turn inwards and forget how others are feeling, considering our own needs as paramount. This can only create division and lead to potential conflict as others feel dis-respected so emotion rises. When we face challenges try to maintain that broader perspective and connect rather than retreat from others. We cannot guarantee that everyone will respond positively to our efforts, but it will increase the probability!   
 
When might you need to face into challenges with courage?
How can you maintain your own positive outlook when you are under pressure?
Where might an empathic and compassionate attitude help you?
 

This month I found myself talking to a senior engineer in a highly competitive sector who was bemoaning the poor leadership and management that he experienced. What I put forward as basic leadership principles were clearly not in place and it was evident that some very poor practice had become the norm.

This situation is not uncommon in many industries that recruit highly skilled and intelligent people. There seems to be an expectation that such highly functional individuals should a) have equally highly developed organizational awareness and people skills. b) be self-sufficient and need no management. My experience suggests neither is true!
 
Firstly, while they may be very knowledgeable in a particular area or discipline, this does not always extend to knowledge of people or organizational principles. Professions where subject knowledge and skills are the criteria for progress often dismiss the value of other attributes and subject knowledge becomes the only currency with value. Because these individuals then have very specialist expertise in a specific area, leaders then assume that those individuals can be left to ‘get on with the job’. While true in one sense, this is a recipe for dysfunction and silo working and can often lead to those individuals feeling resentful and under-valued.

Managing high functioning experts does need some thought. They need to be given respect, autonomy and flexibility, but still need appreciation, motivation and structure. It is a fine balance for the leader to maintain but applying a coaching culture is a good start. They need;

• autonomy within boundaries
• flexibility within structures and processes
• recognition without deference
• support, involvement and interest from leadership
• challenging tasks with minimal unnecessary bureaucracy
• opportunities to develop their expertise without becoming indispensable

Knowledgeable experts can be a valuable asset, and often love problem solving but are prone to question decisions. As their manager you may need to cover for their weaknesses, develop an approach of acceptance while maintaining strength in the face of challenge.
 
When have you seen leadership applied inappropriately for the individuals being managed?
When do you need to adjust your approach?
What would you add as a key difference when managing highly knowledgeable individuals?

​As the World Cup comes to an end the real winner appears to have been Gareth Southgate. I read that he is in great demand as a speaker, commanding six figure sums to give his words of wisdom on leadership and how he has transformed the England team.
 
However, it may be that the real talent of the ‘waistcoat wonder’ is not so much his leadership ideas, as his courage to implement them. I have watched Southgate and recognize many of his principles from very old management theory. Perhaps one of the simplest to relate to is the Adair Model of Leadership that advocates the importance of a focus on three key elements. Firstly, to focus on the Individual: After each match Southgate can be seen approaching every player with a personal message, he clearly treats them as individuals and understands their unique strengths. Secondly, he maintains a focus on the Task: Endless penalty taking, the review and planning of set plays. It is no accident that the majority of the goals scored have come from this focus on how to get results. Lastly, a clear focus on the Team: Listen closely to Southgate being interviewed and he always talks about and complements the team, including the staff. He never singles out a specific individual without bringing the role of others into sharp focus. He uses fun to bring the team together and supports team activities and engagement. Adair explained how these three factors interact and the effective leader needs to work with all three.
 
This is not rocket science but does demonstrate a leader who has learnt from experience and has the courage to implement his learning. Too often I see leaders on courses who seem to understand the principles but then fail to implement them in the workplace. The standard reason is because, they are too busy or feel that they are not following the established culture, or some other excuse. Teamwork is no accident, it is the product of good leadership.
 
What have your learned that you need to start implementing?
Where do you need the courage of your convictions to change the way you do things?
How can you use and apply the Adair model of leadership?
 

This month we are in the midst of the World Cup, an international spectacle on a global scale displaying very different cultures and norms. This appreciation of global diversity has become an important topic in the modern workplace with ‘Cultural Intelligence’ often a key requirement for senior roles. Yet it becomes hard to study and remember all the habits and business practices for every nation and this can become even more complex when many of the people we meet may have mixed heritage or have lived in multiple countries. So maybe what we need to develop is ‘cultural courtesy’ rather than just building cultural knowledge.
 
On my first ever visit to the USA some years ago, my taxi driver from the airport was outraged by what I thought to be a very fair tip for the rather brusque service I had received. While I should have perhaps researched the conventions, he seemed to want to argue me into submission. Needless-to-say, this was not a good strategy as it served only to entrench me in my position. Yet had he and I engaged in a more courteous exchange to build understanding I am sure a compromise might have been achieved. He could tell from my accent I was from the UK yet never attempted to appreciate my perspective and to educate me.
I recently overheard a mother telling her son he could not have a cola because the sugar caused ‘cavities’. The child, not unsurprisingly, asked ‘what are cavities?’ This curiosity, the result of inexperience and naivety brought a more comprehensive explanation from his mother. Yet when we meet people from other cultures we assume they should know our norms and conventions, forgetting that they may lack experience in our culture. If we can engage in cultural courtesy and engage our curiosity we might be able to smooth many of the issues that can arise when working cross culturally.
 
When has your cultural courtesy been lacking?
When do you need to engage your cultural curiosity?
What can you do to encourage cultural courtesy in others?
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Since I am in the UK, this month we must talk about ‘the wedding’! While I am not a royalist follower, I was fascinated by the cultural gulf that the wedding presented. The Most Rev Michael Curry evoked admiration and hilarity in equal measure from the diverse audience, enthralled by his 14 minute sermon. I will only say that I am quite sure that St. George’s chapel has never seen the like of his address from the more reserved and traditional British chaplaincy. His sermon was certainly delivered in English, but it conveyed an emotion and approach that was as alien as another language.
 
We often feel that having a common language with another culture means we have a common understanding and frame of reference, and yet his speech demonstrated how different those cultural expectations can be. In this global world where leaders and staff are often deployed across international borders these differences are often overlooked. Expats given a choice of new locations, will often opt for a country with a common language, such as the English moving to the USA or to Australia. They believe that this will make the transition and adaptation process easier. Yet we have evidence that failure of international placements can often be higher in such situations. The belief that the common language evidences a common culture is a fallacy that often leads to a lack of awareness of the changes required. As a result, expats can find themselves out of touch with the cultural expectations of the role and how they need to alter their approach as a result.
 
When might you overlook cultural differences because the same language is spoken?
How can you become more aware of the cultural expectations presented by a diverse workforce?
What changes do you need to make when working across cultures, even when everyone speaks the ‘accepted language’?
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