This inconsistency is seen in leadership and the business context too. I might be coaching a manager who want the team to grow and take more responsibility but continues to exert control and makes unilateral decisions as they have always done. Many will say they have no time but still fail to hold boundaries and say no to tasks. I have seen leaders who promote honesty and integrity as corporate values, yet will withhold sensitive information from staff or customers when they feel this might have negative consequences. I see organisations who explain that ‘we are all in it together’ but this does not seem to extend to the bonus pot!
Most of us are unaware of our own inconsistencies and need another person to help highlight these blind spots. A useful coaching type challenge is simply to highlight these inconsistencies from a curious mindset. By pointing out the potential tensions, it raises the issue into conscious thought for analysis and evaluation. The person may still decide to do what they have always done but can at least assess how those inconsistencies might be seen by others and what impact they may be having.
What inconsistent messages might you be sending?
Who can help you become more aware of your potential inconsistencies?
How can you help others to learn from their inconsistent choices, actions and behaviours?