Carmelina Lawton Smith
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The Courage to be Vulnerable

19/8/2021

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As we headed into August the delayed Tokyo Olympics were drawing to a close.
One of the most notable events of the proceedings was the withdrawal of Simone Biles from the gymnastics following a case of the ‘Twisties’. This appears to be a well-known condition where gymnasts lose their spatial awareness when in the air that can be disorientating and therefore potentially dangerous. So here we have a top athlete with many years of experience who for some unknown reason, can no longer perform to her known ability.
But what caught the headlines was her publicity of this issue, and her openness to describe it as a ‘mental health’ problem. Admission to mental health issues has for many years been a taboo subject, yet in recent years the willingness of public figures to explain their struggles has brought this topic into wider consciousness. She was courageous enough to go public and received many plaudits for her candor. Yet some may say she has such a strong track record that her competence would not be undermined by this potential issue. Many of us who are in weaker positions still fundamentally feel we may face discrimination and a career blockage if we admit any weakness, especially in the mental health arena.
 
But without some form of communication to someone who can help, we can be authors of our own demise. Obtaining social support and accepting our struggles is the first step to improving the situation and requires far more courage than pretending everything is fine. Without this, the suppression of pent-up emotion can become a pressure cooker that will simply explode in a far more spectacular way down the line. When we model secrecy and invincibility it creates a façade that becomes a cultural norm and helps no one in the long run. We may not choose to go to the international media to communicate our own difficulties, but it can be helpful to others to know they are not alone nor unique is facing personal challenges, and is the first step to honest dialogue of a way forward.
 
Where do you need to have more courage to admit vulnerability?
What needs to happen to help you do this?
Who needs you to role model this courage in vulnerability?
 
https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

 
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​Recognizing Unsung Heroes

8/7/2021

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As a leadership coach I spend a lot of time helping leaders and managers learn valuable lessons about good practice. Resources abound telling us how to maximize team effectiveness and creating a culture of productivity. Yet, some lessons are so simple and accessible that we may even fail to recognize them!
 
The current frenzy in the UK is how the England Football Team have performed in the Euro’s. At the time of writing England have won a place in the final and have had a resurgence under the management of Gareth Southgate. The reasons for the success under Gareth and many, but one aspect caught my attention following the quarter-final win.
 
At the post match interview, he was asked about the success and performance of the team that he skillfully redirected to talk about his ‘current headache’. That ‘current headache’ was articulated in some detail which was to decide who to leave out of the team for each game. He then went on to name each of the players that although part of the squad, were unlikely to get the chance to play. These included the two back-up goal keepers who clearly put in a huge amount of training and yet will only ever play if the number one faces an issue.
 
Despite repeated attempts by the interviewer to get him to explain the on-pitch success he continued to extol the importance of the squad depth. No one on the pitch, got a name check, not even the goal scorers. He overtly and explicitly continued to talk about the squad and the importance of the unsung heroes. This is one simple example showing how Gareth retains a focus on the team, not on the individuals. So many leaders talk about the importance of the team and then completely undermine that message through name-checking star performers or individual contributions. Gareth had successfully used his platform to ensure the invisible players are no longer invisible!
 
Who are your ‘unsung heroes’?
How can you highlight their contribution?
What do you need to do to ensure others appreciate their value?
 
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Impact of Information Sharing

29/6/2021

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Patterns of Behaviour

28/5/2021

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As we come out of lock-down many people are finding that changing their patterns of behaviour is a challenge. Many of us have established new routines and adapting those is not always as easy as we imagine, given the time that has elapsed.
 
In organisations we also end up with patterns of behaviour that may not reflect the new reality. I am always amazed at how some leaders and managers can continue with patterns of behaviour that are clearly not effective for the current reality.
Take for example the manager who has been promoted due to their extensive experience and uses their knowledge and expertise to ensure the job gets done right. They are conscientious and pride themselves on having all the knowledge required. As a result, they become the font of all knowledge and staff defer to them for answers. Each time a question comes the manager answers it and in so doing has established a very clear pattern. You ask me a question and I answer it. So, what happens next time? Clearly staff have learned they do not need to think or take responsibility because it is much easier to follow the established patterns of asking for direction, and that always works! The manager has effectively created a pattern of behaviour that is now detrimental to performance. As soon as the manager goes away or gains another 30 reports, answering every question becomes untenable.
 
As leaders consider what patterns of behaviour you have slipped into and how those might need to change. Have you allowed others to always get what they want from you and now find that is the established norm that needs to be challenged? How might you do that?
 
What patterns of behaviour do you notice happening?
What needs to change?
What can you try to start to change those ineffective patterns?
 
 
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The importance of 'feelings'

23/4/2021

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'This week six of the top British football clubs announced they would be forming an elite breakaway group with other famous European clubs. The argument was that people want to watch games between the best clubs in the world and would pay handsomely for that product. This attracted universal condemnation from fans, politicians and football bodies resulting in the collapse of the whole idea within 3 days. The only people who could not see the problem, seemed to be the accountants and financiers. They failed to grasp the fact that sport is a market where it is not 'what you provide’ that matters but 'how you make people feel’. Sport provides allegiance, social connection and jeopardy. It is big vs little that raises emotions and the chance of winning or losing, not watching 22 men run around after a ball!
 
In the organisational world we might ponder on this fact. What is it that keeps staff, partners or employees engaged? Is it the money and the conditions of work, or is it how you make them feel? Some people do take jobs because they need the money but real engagement with an organisation, team or function is about much more.  Many work in roles that pay little but give them a feeling of meaning in what they do. Those that work only for the money in jobs they hate, rarely experience a sense of well-being in the longer term.
 
How can you help people you work with engage fully?
What is the feeling you want people to have that work with, or for you?
What changes do you need to make?
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Time to Reflect

18/3/2021

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As we approach the one-year anniversary of lock-down in the UK we have all come to terms with a world, and way of life, that was unimaginable at the end of 2019.
 
While many have been seriously affected by the economic environment, I have seen those who are still in work affected in very different ways. For some, the on-line environment has created additional demands on their time and they have found it difficult to set boundaries between work and home life. This has been exasperated by the constant demands of on-line meetings scheduled often, back-to-back. This has created a strange situation where there is no break between commitments and whereas they might previously have at least got a change of scenery, a coffee and a trip to the toilet. Now many feel shackled to a seat and a screen for a numbingly long amount of time, with loved one's delivering refreshments in the background! It would appear that this new working world is going to need us to set very different boundaries and to schedule at least some ‘transfer time’. We may need to reflect on how we are working and make some decisions to help ourselves perform at our best. Unless we can do that, we risk burning out some very committed and conscientious people.
By contrast, others have taken the opportunity to re-evaluate priorities and rather than running faster, have decided to slow down and never return to the life they were living before March 2020.
 
Personal circumstances are different for all of us, but these events do require us to reflect on how we are currently living and what action we need to take to go forward.
 
What have you learnt about yourself and your relationship to work?
What have you decided are your real priorities?
What decision do you need to take?
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Take Control

15/2/2021

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Most of the world is currently living through extraordinary circumstances and that can start to take its toll on us all. There is some research to suggest that although challenging, a trauma that we share with others can be potentially less damaging than personally traumatic experiences due to the social support that is so vital in tough times. However, it is clear that many are experiencing real hardship from the impact of the role they do, or by virtue of the economic or social impact of these times. For these people there can be serious concerns about mental health that need to be addressed.
 
For the rest of us it is easy to fall into a hole of negativity because so much is currently outside of our control. It is understandable to feel helpless and at the mercy of events. Yet if we can start to experience some agency it can help us feel better. Start by assessing what you can actually control. While we cannot control government decisions, we can control how we structure our working day and how much exercise or movement we engage with. Pouring endless energy into things that we cannot control drains us and can make things seem hopeless. Secondly, become aware of what does improve your mood. Is it exercise, funny videos or films, or maybe catching up with others? Once you know what helps, take positive action to plan and engage with those activities on a regular basis. Thirdly, look for positives. It is easy to spend endless hours in conversations about things you cannot control that make you feel worse. Where are the positives? For some it is less time commuting, for others maybe the chance to learn new skills or to slow down.
 
What can you control, and what needs to be parked as issues outside your control?
What activities energise you? How can you plan those into your week?
What are the positives you can be thankful for? How can you keep those front of mind?
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What are you communicating?

15/1/2021

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‘The meaning of the communication is in it’s effect.’
 
I came across this quote some years ago and it seems particularly apt in the current crisis. This suggests that if what is being said is not having the desired effect, then it is clearly not being communicated to the right people in the right way. The communication process is made up of a number of steps. Firstly, that we frame our message clearly and it is transmitted in a language and through a medium that gets to the right people. We then need the audience to want to engage and listen, to ultimately achieve an effect. At the moment, there seems to be a lot said that may not be having the desired effect.
 
It is easy to play the blame game and say the fault lies with those who do not comply, yet we could argue that either the message is poorly transmitted or the case has not been made. If the motivations and arguments were felt to related to the right people, appropriate influence would be the result. There are clearly decisions about the amount of ‘carrot or stick’ that might be needed but the communicator must examine their own part in the failure to communicate effectively. What might be being communicated through actions, policies and examples set? Is the message coherent, or contradictory?  
 
In organisations we often have situations where we need to influence others, this relies on effective communication with the right people at the right time. However, we also need to motivate and engage others to listen to that message and make the motivational case to achieve the desired impact. If people are not listening, you are not saying it in the right way, irrespective of the words you may be using!
 
Where have you seen communication fail to achieve the desired impact?
What can you learn from those experiences?
How can you ensure you communicate in a coherent and effective way?

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Reassuringly familiar?

11/12/2020

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It is now December in a very strange year where the world has had to adapt to a new way of operating. Uncertainty and change have become the norm, which presents a slight paradox!
 
Now every December the music chart seems to enter a time warp as everyone downloads and streams their favorite Christmas tunes. But this year, this seems to have started very early. After only the first week of December the chart is overly populated with Christmas songs and for the first time ever since its release in 1994, Mariah Carey is topping the UK chart with ‘All I want for Christmas is you’. I found myself wondering why this might be. Clearly everyone is in need of some Christmas cheer, but I also wonder if the familiar brings some comfort.
 
In organisations, people often react badly to change because it is unfamiliar and they seek to return to the comfort zone of the previous status quo. Those who are relocated to new countries are also more likely to have a successful posting if there are aspects of family life and possessions that are familiar and consistent.
 
We know that the brain has only limited resources, known as Ego Depletion. It works most efficiently when many decisions are automated, so when everything requires processing power it can be draining. At the moment everything is drawing brain power and maybe the surfeit of Christmas classics are simply a reflection of retreat into the safe and the familiar?
 
When do you find yourself most drained?
What familiar routines can you engage with to support yourself and others?
How can you lift the spirits of everyone this month? 
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Is ‘not intentional’ enough?

23/11/2020

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In the UK this month the Home Secretary has been found to have ‘unintentionally’ used inappropriate language and behaviour with staff in her department. Because it was ‘unintentioned’ this seems to exempt her from any blame in the matter despite the fact that this behaviour was not confined to a single incident or outburst.
 
Leaders are judged on the example they set and the culture they create, so to have repeated example of behaviours that are deemed in breach of organizational standards is of some concern. However, the greater failure may not be in the behaviour itself, but rather in the failure to recognize it as an issue at the time. If it was ‘unintentional’ this suggests three things in the sequence of events. Firstly, that this leader is unaware of the standards expected. Secondly, that she is unable to manage and control how emotions manifest in relation to organizational standards. And finally, that this particular leader does not have the emotional awareness to judge how others are reacting and the impact that her actions are having. Brought together this is a worrying mix of attributes that point to a lack of self-awareness and an inability, or unwillingness, to change and respond to the environment. A road rage incident that got out-of-hand may exhibit many similarities!
 
Where are you in danger of unintentionally going too far?
What do you need to do to manage your own emotional reactions, internally and externally?
How can you ensure you raise your awareness of how others are responding?
 
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